Parenting with Astrology

You often hear people say “I’ve got 3 kids and they’re all different.” Supposedly, the belief is that since the children have the same parents and they should have the same traits. The difference comes because each child has his/her own birth signature which is reflected in the astrological chart of the child. Astrology has been around for thousands of years and an individual’s natal (birth) chart deals with the Sun, Moon, eight planets, zodiacal signs and houses. The horoscope of the daily newspaper has only been in existence since the 1930s and deals only with the position of the Sun (Sun sign). While the natal chart gives an in-depth detailed analysis of a particular individual, the horoscope is a general overview which may or may not provide any insight.

The natal chart for an individual will tell you how they think, how they socialize, how energetic they will be and also their relationship to their parents, spouse, children and siblings. By looking at your child’s birth chart, it will tell you what the child’s potential is but the upbringing will dictate how that potential is manifested. To expand on this point, imagine there are two babies born in the same hospital, on the same day and at the same time. One child grows up to be a psychotic cult leader but the other grows to be a powerhouse in sales and is a tenacious manager. They are both, in essence, using their natural skills but to different ends. While there may have been other factors resulting in the final disposition of the child, the traits of their personality are generally the same.

Stages of Life

The natal chart is a snapshot of the stars at the time you were born but life goes on as do the planets. As the planets cycle in the sky, they will interact with the position of the planets in the natal chart. What happens during these times? For example, we have all heard of the terrible twos. Is there an astrological correlation to this? The answer is yes. Mars takes two years to circle the zodiac. At two, the child is experiencing his first Mars return which is when Mars returns to the position in the sky where it was when the child was born. Mars has to do with the will, conflict, action and urges. During the Mars return, Mars in the sky is sitting on top of Mars in the natal chart bringing all this raw latent energy to a boil. As we go through life we will re-experience this Mars return approximately every two years but hopefully, we won’t act it out like we did when we were two!

At age six, Jupiter will be opposite to where it was at birth so you could expect the child might start questioning your judgement but this also signifies the time when the child looks to a teacher for guidance and in our society that is grade one. By twelve, Jupiter returns to its place when the child was born. At that point, the child now understands the world (as he sees it!) and starts to form his own world vision. At 18, the next opposition, the child is ready for university or an apprenticeship and at twenty-four Jupiter is back in its original position (the return) and the child becomes the cocky college grad with the world at his doorstep.

Why do teens rebel? The answer lies with Saturn, the planet of structure, order, restriction and authority. At approximately fifteen years of age, Saturn is opposite where it was when the child was born. This signifies a time when all authority and rules must be questioned and torn down to make new rules. The next time this happens is at forty-four or during the “midlife crisis”. The mid-life rebellion is coupled with other aspects so it has a slightly different flavour than the teenaged version.

All your children will experience the same cycles but how they do is quite different because they are born at different times and the planets will be in different positions. A terrible two Mars in Aries toddler will be quiet different from a terrible two with Mars in Pisces toddler. Where former may be violent or direct or forceful, the latter may cry or not know why she’s acting out. There are more factors in analysing a natal chart but this will at least give you a basic idea of how it works.

Learning Potential

The placement of Mercury in the chart will tell you a lot about how the child thinks, what information she will retain and how she communicates. The sign and house placement of Mercury are important as well as the planets aspecting or influencing her. If the child’s Mercury has a difficult aspect from Saturn, it could mean that she might not pick up new information quickly and she will have to work harder to retain information. The Mercury in the third house of communication, siblings, and lower education could mean she talks a lot but will learn quickly. Mercury in Virgo could mean the child takes things literally.

I was chatting with a couple about their child and how he could not concentrate in class and how he was daydreaming all the time to the point where they wanted to give him pills for ADHD. I looked at his chart and saw he has his Mercury (thinking, mind) in Pisces. Pisces is the sign associated with fantasy and having the negative stereotype of being “spaced out”. It is almost like they live in another world because the nature of the sign is the vast boundary-less, formless sea. Mercury is also your voice and one can imagine how difficult it would be to talk underwater which is also an aspect of this placement.

In this example, Mercury’s placement shows why child daydreams a lot and his concentration isn’t focused. He’ll learn from osmosis and will probably pick things up using his intuition as Pisces is an intuitive sign. Unfortunately, the school system is not geared towards him as this is the chart of a poet, musician or spiritual guru. To his advantage, he has other placements reinforcing his Mercury suggesting he’ll do just fine in school.

Meanings of Planets

We’ve discussed Mercury briefly but there are other planets.

• Sun – the child’s life purpose, aspirations
• Moon – type of childhood, psychological make-up, mother
• Mercury – Mind, communication
• Venus – Values, social behaviour, image of woman
• Mars – Will, Sexual nature, energy, image of man
• Jupiter – philosophical views, judgement, how child expands
• Saturn – Fears, Limits, work ethic
• Uranus – rebellion, individualization
• Neptune – Dreams, spirituality
• Pluto – transformation, sexual nature, control

The planets, through their sign and house placement, will tell you how your child will expend energy in the various facets of life. For example, if religion is important to the parents and the child has Uranus in the ninth house, the house of religion, or Aquarius on the cusp of the ninth house, then the parents should be ready for a child that will rebel against their religion or they might have totally different perception of the same one.

In closing, astrology can be a great tool for understanding and managing your child. You can understand how you are viewed in your child’s eyes and how they learn and why they act the way they do. Astrology allows you a way to tailor your parenting techniques towards the child. A girl with a difficult Saturn-Venus connection may have issues with being girly so mom putting her in beauty contests will not help her or dad forcing his Mars-Neptune boy to play rugby might cause the child to feel inadequate. It is all about knowledge and why not use this ancient wisdom to help you in parenting your child? Parenting could be one of the most difficult tasks you will ever experience, so it does not hurt to get some help along the way.